Here’s the first installment of ‘Shit Movie of the Month’ – and boy do we have a cracker! Shark in Venice is one of those great titles like ‘Snakes on a Plane’ in which the title says it all. Just think Jaws set in Venice – with a mafia subplot – and Indiana Jones elements – and the worst CGI you have seen – and a hilariously wooden Stephen Baldwin – and production design that says “we aren’t really in Venice, it’s just a bloody awful set”.
Obviously a straight to DVD movie, Shark in Venice has probably the worst killing scenes in any shark movie ever made, including the crappy Jaws sequels. Shots are sped up and cut so horribly that every shark attack scene looks the same – brilliant. The lesser Baldwin’s man boobs are far too distracting for me to take his ‘acting’ seriously, hence any scenes with running or even moderately paced walking prove to be a strain on the viewers eyes and Baldwin’s body.
All of this, of course, makes the movie all the more watchable. We all know the film isn’t going to be a masterpiece, so that’s why it’s just best to revel in it’s shitness instead of criticising it.
Watch it. Or don’t.
Oh and if you were curious, my ‘Baldwin Preference’ is..
3. William aka Billy
4. Daniel – “drink up Daniel, you’re the weakest”